OTHER DISEASES I ACTUALLY HAVE

I HAVE PINKEYE!!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


It hurts. It's icky. I have goo coming from my eye. Not hot.


MOST EXPENSIVE PURCHASE OF THE DAY

Besides my $90 eye exam to tell me I had pinkeye (duh) and give me a scrip, my antibiotic drops, a bottle the size of a breath freshener, was $60. Awesome. How'd I get pinkeye, you ask? Gave it to myself. The cold I have travelled from my sinuses to my tearduct and infected it. Rock.

DISEASES I AM SURE TO HAVE

If artificial sweeteners like "Splenda" turn out to cause cancer or brain tumors, or something, I definitely have it. I love Splenda with a passion bordering on obsession, and I have found odd uses for it that I'd bet you'd never think of. I sprinkle it on pickles, in diet root beer, in non-fat yogurt, on nectarines, on cottage cheese, on JELLO, for Pete's sake. I'd say I go through at least TEN individual packs of Splenda on an average day. So, don't be surprised if I'm dead in a couple of years.

Oooh, mercury poisoning, as well. I eat fish every day, at least once. Mostly twice. I love tuna and salmon and whitefish and can't get enough of them. I try to mix things up and not eat the same fish twice in one day, but it doesn't always happen that way. Yeah, if those mercury poisoning rumors are true, I'm dying of mercury poisoning. Maybe I should look-up my symptoms...


I don't plan on ceasing the ingestion of any of these foods, so I will accept my sickness as punishment for getting a little enjoyment out of what I eat. =)


WHY DOES MY NIECE HATE ME OF THE DAY

My baby, Lily; the sweetest little doodlebug in my life, has suddenly become afraid of me and none of us can figure-out why that might be. My sister thinks she might have had a scary dream about me, but Brooks and I think she might be associating my arrival at her house with one or both of her parents leaving, in that I am her sole babysitter. Dunno. Hope it's just a phase; Aunt Meghan is saddened by this. =(

HITCH

I saw the movie "Hitch" on Thursday, starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. I have to say that I really enjoyed it. The script, while a little rocky at times, was fresh and lively, and the performances of the cast were superb. Eva Mendes made a very big leap from supporting to lead actress, and she handled the jump beautifully. She's easy to watch and very likable in a beautiful-but-non-threatening-Julia-Roberts-way. And let me just stress the point that she is gorgeous, absolutely stunning, and rocks an actual woman's body, which is refreshing to see on the big-screen. Will Smith was charming and handsome, as always, and carried the message of the movie well; that being the ideal notions of romance and how women would really like a return to chivalry. My favorite line in the movie went something like, "There isn't a woman out there that wakes-up in the morning and thinks, 'Gee, I'd really like NOT to be swept off of my feet today."

It's a lovely "date" movie that I actually got to see on a date, which is a plus. Maybe the enjoyment factor of the film was upped by getting to hold hands with someone while a romantic story was being told on on the screen! Who knows. But it was a lovely movie, lovely company, and a lovely evening; so I guess that's all factored in.


GET OVER-IT OF THE DAY

One of my biggest pet-peeves as a bartender are the "guys" that get offended when I ask to see their I.D.'s. I know it's a macho thing and how dare I question their age, but most of the time that I do ask for ID and guys get pissed, I find that they are so close to having just turned 21, they really shouldn't even question being carded. It's okay that a woman thinks you're young, gents! Young is actually considered desirable in some societies; so stop being such a@@hole's when I ask you for ID. Here's another concept; I have to card EVERYONE...the world doesn't not revolve around you, pookie!

HAPPY LOVE-DAY

Most years I am sad on this day, because I rarely have a "valentine". But for some reason, this year I am pretty up-beat about the whole situation. I have been in a really cheery mood all day long, and I think I decided to consider ALL of the people in my life that I care for my valentines. I called everybody that I love to tell them so, and I am now at my sister's house to hang out. My Daddy sent me a lovely valentine, as did my Mom, and I wore a cute pink skirt to my internship today, all in the spirit of the day. There was a part of me that wanted to go into work to give out those cheesy-little paper cards that we all used to get in school, but it's just not the same without the handmade boxes to put them in, so I refrained.

The weather was lovely, the day went well, and I am happy to have so many people in my life that love me.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!


SONNET OF THE DAY


Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-You Know Whom

WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO CARE ABOUT

I was watching T.V. this morning, a special on the spring fashion lines from the big designers, and I was once again surprised by something that has surprised me in the past; a boob. A couple of them, to be precise. Right there, in plain view, veiled only slightly by a thin piece of cloth or the lapel of a gaping jacket.

I am no prude, believe me, but for an FCC which made such an uproar about the accidental and VERY brief exposure of Ms. Jackson's breast, to see a few come jiggling down the runway of a fashion show in the middle of the day without any sort of "There might be breasts in this show" disclaimer at the heading is a little confusing. So, when it's a "wardrobe malfunction", it's indecent, but when it's part a fashion statement, it's kosher? I have noticed this discrepency in the past, wondering why it was okay to see the clear hints of nipples through a see-through top as it came down the runway, but when the press caught Tara Reid with her breast out, a replay of the event had to be blurred. Does "fashion" have some codecil in the Constitution that says that it's shows are exempt from decency regulations?

Odd.


QUOTE OF THE DAY

Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desires? I have no precious time at all to spend, nor services to do till you require.

W. S.

STAY PALE

I have recently signed-up with a casting office that is working on casting the sequel to "Pirates of the Caribbean". Their office is located next-door to the casting office in which I currently intern, and the casting director that I work with was nice enough to take time out of her day, inquire about their registration process on my behalf, and request a favor to get me a free registration! She did this without me even asking, which was very flattering, and I think it might be a lucrative situation. They took my picture when I signed-up to put me in their database (for those that don't know the casting world here in LA, this sort of service is like a central casting office in which small roles for movies, TV, and commercials are cast through a hotline and a database search), and they mentioned that I looked "british", and that if I can stay out of the sun for the next month, I might be able to be in the "Pirates" sequel!! Wha?! That would rock. I LOVED the first movie, and I'd be STOKED to be in the second one. Not to mention the fact that it's probably going to be filmed some place tropical, in that they are, in fact, pirates of the Caribbean, and that would mean that they'd fly me somewhere and put me up for the length of the shoot. Again; ROCK.

I will keep y'all updated on the progress of this possibility. But now I am in a strange situation; how to get my arms to de-tan. My face and chest are pretty pale because I try to keep my face out of the sun, but I run during the day, and I guess my arms are exposed for long spots of time. I think I going to just get some of that intense SPF 50 and slather it liberally; that, or I am going to need to invest in some pale make-up. I don't know, I'll figure it out. Oh, I'm gonna be in that freakin' movie...whatever it takes!


QUOTE OF THE DAY

To die; to sleep; to sleep perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled of this mortal coil must give us pause.

Will Shake-it-don't-break-it

WAFFLE COINCIDENCE

Some of my more devoted readers might remeber a post a while back in which I mentioned a late night visit to the restaurant that I was working at by a Ms. Hillary Swank. In that post, I spoke of how she came in and quite passionately desired some waffles. In that it was eleven o'clock at night, I had to say no, we did not have waffles for her enjoyment, and she asked if I was certain, and I replied, "Yes, I'm certain.", and then she left.

So, I recently saw Hillary Swank on Oprah, talking about the intense training regimine and diet that allowed her to obtain her supreme buffness for "Million Dollar Baby". She could only have fifty carbs a day, and she had to eat every few hours (she had to wake up in the middle of the night to eat! Wha?!), and she trained until she was blue in the face and all of that. She mentioned how excited she was the day they told her that her boxing scenes were finished and she could go off of her strict diet, and then Oprah asked her what was the first yummy thing she ate. Hillary's response? "I went out that night for waffles. And they were so good, I cried over them!"

Had I but known that the woman had been deprived of waffles for four months and was just given the go-signal to eat them again, I would have gotten the batter out myself and made them for her. But she didn't take the time to explain, and I imagine she ended-up at Norm's, down the street.

Wherever she may be, I say to Hillary, "My bad."


SONG LYRIC OF THE DAY

I got my head checked by a jumbo-jet. It wasn't easy, but nothing is...WOO HOO!!

-Blur